JNCO – Judge None, Choose One

Ah yes, JNCO’s. Pronounced Jenco. How could I resist the temptation of dedicating an ENTIRE POST to this symbol of 90’s fashion goodness?!?! I submit to you that I cannot! It HAS to be talked about and remembered. Ya know…’cause those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. [Tweet That] It’s like that really bad idea you had back in the day that you thought would be awesome until you ended up breaking your tailbone because you jumped off the roof of your house and missed the pool by 3 feet for some reason. Like here:

(warning this is painful to watch)

Yes my friends, JNCO’s were like that. It’s that bad idea that no one wants to bring up and talk about. It’s like when your brother starts with the phrase, “hey, you remember that time?” to your new girlfriend that he just met. Yep, you just know that’s going someplace you don’t want it to. Only with JNCO’s we all experience that feeling. It’s like this secret club where one day we came to our senses, then we all got up individually and said “Well let’s do our best to forget that ever happened, OK?”

Why? Because they were awful and we all wore them. I know, I know, who could blame us? We were kids and they turned our legs into monumental pillars of cool! I mean, 50 inches of bottom hems? Irresistible. Their slogan? “Judge None, Choose One.” That…that there…Deep, Universal, Truth. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think they had an oracle of some sort telling them these things. Seriously, who wouldn’t want to wear jeans from a company that also tried its hand at comic books. “The True Adventures of Flamehead”? Heck yes. His adventures were truly…flame-y. [Tweet That] Besides, how were you supposed to become king of the rave without those neon flames getting hit with a black light to make you truly look on fire? Then again, maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. You know, cause it was the 90’s and pockets needed to be that big in order to carry your bag phones or Zach Morris sized DynaTAC in your pockets.

As described on Wikipedia “This street look was popularized throughout the 90s starting in Los Angeles and working its way nationwide.” This is real reason our nation is struggling. The people who came up with this idea? We’re still listening to their advice…about fashion. Seems that our decision-making abilities have some sort of inherent flaw. Don’t believe me? Wait..just wait. 10 years and you won’t want to talk about your skinny jeans and deep-V’s either.